quiero...

...estar en la discoteca Freedom

escuchar Clan of Xymox en la discoteca Freedom

escuchar November de Clan of Xymox en la discoteca Freedom

que sean los años 80 y que yo esté ahí para escuchar November de Clan of Xymox en la discoteca Freedom

now what???

It is too soon to say that it is the end...though I'm foreshadowing it.

Maybe it is just my always negative attitude towards life. Hope not. It is really funny, the monomania and the anxiety attacks came back... Since music is not helping this time i got three options: painting, dancing ooooooorrr the emo action that seems to promise a relief.

At least tomorrow I expect to distract myself with the always amusing "facu de lenguas environment"... I was starting to miss it . Sometimes I want to come back.

del... y otros demonios o así es como comienza el otoño

It seems that the more interesting stuff happens around me the less i wanna write it. I find it overwhelming. And these two weeks have been a mortal combination of happiness, madness, sadness and intense feelings.

Sisyphus its me and the rock is all my demons that come and go and unfortunately this days have been surrounding me and filling my head with dangerous thoughts...again.

At least this time I have not enough strenght to open the skin of my wrist and pull them out. I kinda find another way to get rid of them. Painting seems to help, does it? and this way people won't bother me again with the "emo" adj.

Now what? what do I need? what do I want? what do I have? It seems life gave me something I really wanted. But for how long? I feel how it's going... I feel as if i just got it to increase my stamina and then lose it roughly...some kind of stupid joke. But as the little creeper survivor branches that are attached with all their strenght to the wall rock in cold winter, I will remain attached to what I got.


Though I must not forget: We are all pawns on this hopeless chessboard.

not pictures of us together?

I know this seems adressed to a boy, which is not the case.

I wonder if the girl, who this message is for, knows that im aware of the distance she slowly impose between us. I just noticed it today, I mean the distance.

She must remember im like a boy that tends to forget lil details. She must remember I don't like the ppl who is somebody only on weekends.

So the friendship is over?

Maybe Im demanding more than Im actually giving.

seems so vain, seeims so vain...................................................................

there is and there isn't

Reading "del amor y otros demonios" a strange sensation came to me...Love is like a playful puppy. It comes closer and when you are about to grab it, it runs and you are not able to catch it.

Its like a dream, a nice dream when you are about to get something you really really want and then you wake up, you still have the drowsy sensation that you actually got it...but you didn't and you remain in bed trying to get back to the dream or remembering how were those blissful seconds you had "it"

Its like the smell that drove you crazy when you were a child and few years later you recognize it like a light breeze and you try to find where does it come from or maybe you try to smell it again but there is no longer trace of it and you just got past feelings and sensations.

I don't remember the exact part of the book that brought me that sensation, was about the end and is how love is behaving in my life.

it is all related...

to the name of a book I was seeking: "the world to come"
that led to an authors name: Dara Horn
who had a sister called: Ariel
the name of my...who had a strange second name that i remembered
the second name whas similar to Fauntleroy, the Little Lord
Who lead me to Hellen Keller....
a chain of internet searchings that brought one of the most outstanding flashbacks of my childhood...


He will come...He will...He