now what???

It is too soon to say that it is the end...though I'm foreshadowing it.

Maybe it is just my always negative attitude towards life. Hope not. It is really funny, the monomania and the anxiety attacks came back... Since music is not helping this time i got three options: painting, dancing ooooooorrr the emo action that seems to promise a relief.

At least tomorrow I expect to distract myself with the always amusing "facu de lenguas environment"... I was starting to miss it . Sometimes I want to come back.

del... y otros demonios o así es como comienza el otoño

It seems that the more interesting stuff happens around me the less i wanna write it. I find it overwhelming. And these two weeks have been a mortal combination of happiness, madness, sadness and intense feelings.

Sisyphus its me and the rock is all my demons that come and go and unfortunately this days have been surrounding me and filling my head with dangerous thoughts...again.

At least this time I have not enough strenght to open the skin of my wrist and pull them out. I kinda find another way to get rid of them. Painting seems to help, does it? and this way people won't bother me again with the "emo" adj.

Now what? what do I need? what do I want? what do I have? It seems life gave me something I really wanted. But for how long? I feel how it's going... I feel as if i just got it to increase my stamina and then lose it roughly...some kind of stupid joke. But as the little creeper survivor branches that are attached with all their strenght to the wall rock in cold winter, I will remain attached to what I got.


Though I must not forget: We are all pawns on this hopeless chessboard.