Ari in a peach coloured cloud

eat a piece of your mind

2010-11-23T20:58:00.000-08:00

After all there was no mistery at all. "The answer lies within" they told me. They were right.
Nodoby was hidding, quite the opposite my dear. She was well aware of how explicit everything was.NO MISTERY.

Me voy... They made me feel like home.
My beloved Los Iluminados

a-e-i... o-u?

2010-10-12T21:58:00.001-07:00

su nombre... tiene las letras de mi desorden

estoy creando un una entrada del blog ahora mismo... y la estoy guardando en 'borrador' sólo el tiempo dirá si se publica o no

2010-10-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

winter...cold

2010-09-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

silver buildings so absorbing
when the cold of the night freezes the skin
we have to stand the test of nature
to return to where we've been, to what we were
are we able?

wide open spaces, glow of the night pearls the skin
white lights so far away, far and wide you gaze,
unknown tall buildings surround us, surround me
are we able to find the path tonight?

who are you to lurk? to be aware?
hold on, every step keeps my heart in highly dimensions
drag me on your back for one more day
one more day

a force of nature filled with strenght
we finally find our way back home
a long road, it is not winter anymore
its autumn and the gold trees lead me to safe

And at the end of the day it is just cold
you fear
you learn
you live
you learn

song of the day...

2010-09-23T11:11:00.000-07:00

sooo feeling in a mood for this:

2010-09-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

[sounds, explosion, peach coloured sky]...morning light, headache, too much coffee last night, iddle notions again.

sometimes i find it surprising how can i reach i state in where i feel so random

random walk, random thoughts, random spaces

but i just decided time is a stupid notion, randomness?

but even this blog entry is random

I just wanted to write...anything, try to get rid of this feelings i found not in my head

Long ago are those days, they feel recent today

2010-09-17T23:24:00.000-07:00

В твоих глазах сплошной туман             En tus ojos veo niebla profunda

Раскрой меня                                           No puedo leerte
Я хочу увидеть                                         Quiero ver
Твоей печали таинственный след.        Tu camino pasado y misterioso
В глазах твоих сплошной туман            En tus ojos veo niebla profunda
Раскрой меня                                          No puedo leerte
Я хочу увидеть                                          Quiero ver

Твоей печали таинственный след.      Tu camino pasado y misterioso

song of the day

2010-09-15T08:45:00.001-07:00

of riddles and mazes...

2010-09-10T21:28:00.000-07:00

Imaginemos la escena... serie de fotos de dos criaturas, hombre y mujer, sin relación alguna más que friendship, beautiful landscapes, blanco y negro, colores, caras felices, fotos improvisadas, fotos tomadas sin previo aviso, fotos conocidas. Ahora, hay algo que no está bien. ¿Cuántas personas hay en la escena?
¿Dos? Naaaahaaa. Hay tres, pues no debemos olvidar a la persona que toma las fotos. ¿ Y dónde está? ¿Por que no hay fotos de ella? y si hubo... ¿Por qué sus fotos nunca fueron publicadas en la serie?
¿Qué es tan misterioso acerca de esa persona que no puede ser mencionada por la imagen?

lettera 1

2010-08-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

Mi pequeño amigo, ya llevo una semana aquí y no ha dejado de llover. Ahora mismo está lloviendo como si el mundo fuera a acabarse y el gato gordo vecino se quedó afuera...
Cuando regresaba a casa estaba pensando que tengo amigos que a veces en vez de amigos parecen papá o mamá: "They only love you when you give your body enterely and without restrictions" me dijeron. Bueno yo soy de moral bastante flexible, ya debes saber. Aún así no creo que deban decirme esas cosas, ellos también ya me conocen.
También estaba pensando que soy muy extremista, puedo beberme 3 botellas de vino yo solita en un ratito, puedo comerme una caja de chocolates en una tarde, puedo pasar todo el día sin hacer nada y despues enfadarme conmigo por eso.Pero ´puedo leerme un libro gordo en una tarde, puedo hacer 3 horas de ejercicio sin parar y puedo hacer tareas y todo tipo de cosas productivas el fin de semana y enfadarme por que pude haber hecho más. Pero tampoco es motivo para que me regañen.
Acabo de recordar que me duele la cabeza :( y que tengo una traducción pendiente. ¿Cómo dice? Mister, I cannot read you. Your eyes are clouds of mist. Well, well, How can I read you? I wish i could see further... Luego la termino, ya voy a dormir. Escríbeme una carta. No seas ingrato

idle notions...

2010-08-20T20:23:00.000-07:00

В твоих глазах сплошной туман

Раскрой меня

Я хочу увидеть

Твоей печали таинственный след.

В глазах твоих сплошной туман

Раскрой меня

Я хочу увидеть

Твоей печали таинственный след.

so are here all the requested answers? I truly hope so, i want urs not mine

2010-08-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

1. Do u refer to the most awkward moment ever? i hope not, coz that was the result of ugly treatcherous past. Tampoco espero que sea otro momento por que en ese caso significa que mi mentalismo está fallando. Esta nunca la hubiera ligado contigo. Te imaginaba rumbo a tu lejana school havin weird thoughts but not about me.
2.Mine? Yeah sure. so bad. But yours???? that's what i thought but then the life question WHY?
3. Estoy segura que hay anécdotas alrededor de esa música particular... mmm
4.Comida? que tipo de comida? alguna comida en particular? Titikaka? Alguna especie de pista suramericana que no logro conectar. I need guidance. Meaning of blogs? just my dark issues what about ur (blog)? Im so curious too, I would like to know.... everything
5. Now just that...friends. "Friends" maybe before...maybe later
6.Noooo comments there :S
7.nothing? what do u exactly mean...? i can feel perfección even when there are some things I dont like everywhere, coz I feel happy with that, so it becomes perfect.

obsolet machines

2010-07-28T20:28:00.000-07:00

Me cuesta tanto trabajo levantarme.... Y tú me ayudas, sólo para dejarme caer otra vez

Are we pretending? Coz I like pretending.

memories

2010-07-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

T: Mira, Sofía me puso un sandwich de queso pero ya esta comido y frío, aún asi Dianne dijo que era el mejor queso que había probado.
A: ¿Sofía?
T: Sí, Sofía, mi mamá
A: ¿ Y por qué no le dices "mamá"?
T: Porque así no se llama
A: Mmmm.... ¿Duro pero ....justo?
T: Sí.Vamos a comernos el sandwich pero frio porque la lechuga se enoja cuando la calientan

todos los paranoicos q conozco...

2010-07-27T12:58:00.000-07:00

...merecen ser perseguidos.
Again here i stand, foretasting the aftermath, foreseeing the destroying fire like a nightmare of the end of the world. Though this time I am more calmed as never before. Maybe it will be getting worse later, dunno.
I feel baie sleepy, and the song that remains unknown comes as a warning sign. As the signs that were good and talked about sparkling times when they were about to come.
How can I get rid of this damnation, of this curse?

rain threaten

2010-07-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

I was such a happy person 'til it started getting mild, rainy, cold and misty.

Stupid Seasonal Affective Disorder. But the lovers of the so-called londonweather may be enojoying it. Rain is so overrated. Despite the fact it provides with the perfect atmosphere for good readings, good songs and a excuse for eating chocolate i don't completely understand why people makes so much noise about it.

Few minutes ago, while I was at my "i-don't-understand-anything-teacher class" i recalled my oldest blog, the first "los-illuminados". I used to love rain and cold, so what happened then? I guess that staying 12 hours in a 0°C weather with no proper shoes no proper clothes made me think more about it. I left that blog coz of the job. So stupid job too.

Currently listening: Raiders on the storm---just to go with the weather

that one

2010-07-15T10:24:00.000-07:00

That one was a good one, though it hurt. Did i get it the right way?
So? What's next?
My move ??

every second ur life can change

2010-06-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

De pronto te das cuenta que la opción que consideraste más adecuada ya no lo es. Tal vez fue resultado de un impulso, de la curiosidad, del morbo.
Y la opción que rechazas emerge como algo más razonable y que puede prevalecer más alla de las emociones.
También existe la posibilidad de que todo sea una ilusión y que en realidad ninguna de las opciones fuera realmente buena.
Aún no se si existan cosas que perduren para siempre, pero existe un morbo constante por comprobarlo, por saber si realmente uno culmina con cosas, con situaciones que uno impulsó desde el inicio, de no romper la cadena de circunstancias para lograrlo.

daba miedo

2010-06-23T21:16:00.001-07:00

mira a que tugurio ya se fue a meter, después ya no va a saber salirse =)

whether or not

2010-06-20T00:09:00.000-07:00

children tend to overreact... as much as adults-
Its all an illusion.

chale... se me fue la idea, pero juro que era muy buena. Estaba relacionando dos sucesos aparentemente sin conexión: Que una alarma sonara en el cine cuando estás a dos minutos de que termine tu película y otra cosa... ya no recuerdo cual era.....................................

Deja vú

2010-06-17T17:44:00.000-07:00

It seems I always end up in the same old place

Like I've seen it all before and though I try not to I make the same mistakes.

Who's playing a trick on me?
Suddenly I turn around...Haven't I done it all before?

A l'intrieur de mon esprit

A repetition

J'avais tout vecu prcedemment

Je fais toujours les memes erreurs

Ca revient sans arret

Encore et pareilles

mental breakdown

2010-06-06T17:51:00.000-07:00

...a complete state of tiredness (dont even know if that word exists)... feeling slumberous (dont even know if that word is spelled that way)...after spending so many hours highspeeding brain function im done, besides this coffee-sugar based diet is having some impact in my already weakened body
Im so fucked off that i cannot even think about questioning "that", if it is worthy, if it is true, if is redeeming, if u can demand it.

i want to get any conclusion but this time im over, fortunately next sunday next week i'll be celebrating summer freedom

sing me a lullaby "summertime" because tonigh its going to be a hard night

wish u good night

2010-06-05T17:36:00.000-07:00

So far I can say that my best nights are those in which I slept in your arms so I could feel your music within myself

we might be dogs astray...

2010-06-03T20:33:00.000-07:00

...or something worse, astray is not exactly a word that can describe cataclysm. We are so lost and the lack of definition is leading us no nonsense…though we still have the sunny skies than can give us the illusion that we are free

Otro jueves como todos los demás, el cielo despejado, morado, sin estrellas. Me pregunto si podré ir a la cama sin está sensación de desequilibrio

Face to face, in the cage of time, this time there’s no escape, coz nobody knows how trapped we are

El agua está a punto de terminarse, no quiero levantarme por más. Aquí estoy bien

The triumphant freedom of a thousand fates evaporates in the sight of those who arise the question

A oBscuras escribiendo y no sabiendo como se mueven los dedos, hacia donde van, ni de donde surge el impulso por oprimir las teclas, paras un momento...

And the persecutor appears, was just within ourselves

tonight...........summer

2010-05-31T21:37:00.000-07:00

tonight i got no place to sleep.............. bed is messy....... and i really need to sleep but I've got to workkkkkkkkkkkkk. Summertime, sing me a lullaby "Summertime"

pouvon-nous vivre après un rêve qui a parlé de la mort?

2010-05-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

The last dream was about death, there was blood everywhere, and mud and dark waters. The pale skin that was sinking stop shining and the clear blue eyes were closed. I woke up with the sensation as if it was me who prevented him to go out from the consuming waters or..... sth worse. But was just a dream anyway.......and old dream that seems so real every time i think about it........
Well, the weird thing was that i've never heard of him anymore. I used to believe he was still alive, but now Im not that sure. I havent felt him for a while but this is the first time I face it. A friend made me think of u.... it's weird, isn't it? specially because he had his own childhood love story

like water in a river

2010-04-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

Just flow, that's what i've been thinking and preaching last days... and have been good days, good things are around me. The question is if i'll be able to bear and preach the same when the storm comes...hope it does not

quiero...

2009-11-03T21:02:00.000-08:00

...estar en la discoteca Freedom

escuchar Clan of Xymox en la discoteca Freedom

escuchar November de Clan of Xymox en la discoteca Freedom

que sean los años 80 y que yo esté ahí para escuchar November de Clan of Xymox en la discoteca Freedom

now what???

2009-09-29T20:26:00.000-07:00

It is too soon to say that it is the end...though I'm foreshadowing it.

Maybe it is just my always negative attitude towards life. Hope not. It is really funny, the monomania and the anxiety attacks came back... Since music is not helping this time i got three options: painting, dancing ooooooorrr the emo action that seems to promise a relief.

At least tomorrow I expect to distract myself with the always amusing "facu de lenguas environment"... I was starting to miss it . Sometimes I want to come back.

del... y otros demonios o así es como comienza el otoño

2009-09-21T21:05:00.000-07:00

It seems that the more interesting stuff happens around me the less i wanna write it. I find it overwhelming. And these two weeks have been a mortal combination of happiness, madness, sadness and intense feelings.

Sisyphus its me and the rock is all my demons that come and go and unfortunately this days have been surrounding me and filling my head with dangerous thoughts...again.

At least this time I have not enough strenght to open the skin of my wrist and pull them out. I kinda find another way to get rid of them. Painting seems to help, does it? and this way people won't bother me again with the "emo" adj.

Now what? what do I need? what do I want? what do I have? It seems life gave me something I really wanted. But for how long? I feel how it's going... I feel as if i just got it to increase my stamina and then lose it roughly...some kind of stupid joke. But as the little creeper survivor branches that are attached with all their strenght to the wall rock in cold winter, I will remain attached to what I got.

Though I must not forget: We are all pawns on this hopeless chessboard.

not pictures of us together?

2009-08-25T22:41:00.001-07:00

I know this seems adressed to a boy, which is not the case.

I wonder if the girl, who this message is for, knows that im aware of the distance she slowly impose between us. I just noticed it today, I mean the distance.

She must remember im like a boy that tends to forget lil details. She must remember I don't like the ppl who is somebody only on weekends.

So the friendship is over?

Maybe Im demanding more than Im actually giving.

seems so vain, seeims so vain...................................................................

there is and there isn't

2009-06-14T22:24:00.000-07:00

Reading "del amor y otros demonios" a strange sensation came to me...Love is like a playful puppy. It comes closer and when you are about to grab it, it runs and you are not able to catch it.

Its like a dream, a nice dream when you are about to get something you really really want and then you wake up, you still have the drowsy sensation that you actually got it...but you didn't and you remain in bed trying to get back to the dream or remembering how were those blissful seconds you had "it"

Its like the smell that drove you crazy when you were a child and few years later you recognize it like a light breeze and you try to find where does it come from or maybe you try to smell it again but there is no longer trace of it and you just got past feelings and sensations.

I don't remember the exact part of the book that brought me that sensation, was about the end and is how love is behaving in my life.

it is all related...

2009-05-24T20:53:00.000-07:00

to the name of a book I was seeking: "the world to come"
that led to an authors name: Dara Horn
who had a sister called: Ariel
the name of my...who had a strange second name that i remembered
the second name whas similar to Fauntleroy, the Little Lord
Who lead me to Hellen Keller....
a chain of internet searchings that brought one of the most outstanding flashbacks of my childhood...

He will come...He will...He